Keeping up with everything.

why oh why am i so stupid.as alex said..make peaople happy by making myself miserable.does that really work?which fucking idiot would have done the same as i have?the answer obviously is none.None are as stupid.no idiot in this world would live by their so called ‘principles’ and so rigidly follow it as i have.but yet i do so still.why?i know not.but then again,i am stupid to let this befall upon me twice in a space of 6 months.twice i have shunned away my emotions and follow my ‘principles’ and be left in misery.this has probably shaved off like 20 years off my life.superb aint it.

sometimes i just wonder if theres any point in having best friends.maybe its just me with my accursed bad luck but i seem to run into problem after problem with the best friends i make.and i cant seem to let go of themthey mean too much to me….but sadly not vice versa.

the result is me making all the effort but i’m just left hanging by the edge of the clip not knowing what to do to cry or to hate.sms unanswered, hearts broken and stuff i do gone unnoticed…all these sound weirdly repetitive as it has happened repeatingly in primary secondary etc.pretty sad if you ask me.here i am trying to cherish my friendship as much as possible and there they go taking the words ‘we dont care much’ and smacking it splat in my face.

i guess the only real friends stick to you through thick and thin and i have known a precious few.you guys out there…you know who you are.thank you for everything and may our friendship stay on for many years to come.love you guys

Welcome To My Life…yea my life…well at least currently

Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of place?

Like somehow you just don’t belong

And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?

Do you lock yourself in your room?

With the radio on turned up so loud

That no one hears you screaming

No you don’t know what it’s like

When nothing feels all right

You don’t know what it’s like

To be like me

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you’re down

To feel like you’ve been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one’s there to save you

No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?

Are you sick of feeling so left out?

Are you desperate to find something more?

Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?

Are you sick of everyone around?

With their big fake smiles and stupid lies

While deep inside you’re bleeding

No you don’t know what it’s like

When nothing feels all right

You don’t know what it’s like

To be like me

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you’re down

To feel like you’ve been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one’s there to save you

No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face

No one ever stabbed you in the back

You might think I’m happy but I’m not gonna be okay

Everybody always gave you what you wanted

Never had to work it was always there

You don’t know what it’s like, what it’s like

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you’re down

To feel like you’ve been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one’s there to save you

No you don’t know what it’s like (what it’s like)

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you’re down

To feel like you’ve been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one’s there to save you

No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

normal…if it was normal i wouldnt be eating alone.if it was normal i wouldnt be avoided.if it was normal…i would be chatting online.if it was normal…if it was normal…oh i dont know whatever.so my for best friend huh.

my past few entries have been rather depressing no?sigh..well ok here we go again..why the depressing title?well see its like this….somehow i have a very uneasy feeling that i seem to be drifting away from my bunch of pals.people dont use to call me by my nickname,they disappear and i’m like alone,i dont get ruffles on the hair anymore and…theres like…feeling that i’m so afraid of…like losing them.i mean everytime i look up i dont see them, i crane my neck and turn around every like 5 minutes and i still dont see them and i’m like…where did they go…*sob*mayb its just me isolating myself…but..i try hard!..i just have a bad feeling about everything.

dear blog i suppose you’re the only one i can talk to…kinda embaressing talking to others bout it no?it seems like my readers are dwinddling…hahahaha cant really blame them, me coming out with silly stuff like this,but i need some outlet to release this and so since i was online….i turned to you.well..thanks for absorbing all my moodiness and stuff i’m just feeling really down now i need a shoulder to cry to…and a hug.oh sarah i wish you were here now i need someone to talk to and spill everything to and everything.boohoo.

this entry is a big sorry to my college friend for having endured me through the past week or two.

guys, when i was in the car today i was thinking over stuff and i’ve come to realise what a stupid annoying brat i’ve been.i mean first was that outing incident when i made a big fuss outta nothing, and my small fits and tantrums throughout the week,with me complaining about my work or almost just everything under the sun.i’m sorry i’ve been so hard and touchy and perhaps arrogant throughtout the week…and i only realise i was being so after i do stuff that made me arrogant and shit.

i’ve also been rather sensitive about being left out havent i?well…yea i guess i have…dont ask mewhy but…mayb its just stress.oh well…on the lighter note, i’ve spent a quality 2 and a half hrs with you guys playing badminton!it was great!jess whooped my ass!=P*shame shame* but there was something missing…yea…honfaai…i missed your partnership against the forces of evil….the Sibu force!i hav failed to beat them…but as long as the light KL side prevails, we shall defeat them!as they are only two…as all Sibu force laws go….one a master…one an apprentice.

*wink*

*sizzle sizzle* 

FREAKING HOT 

me being an absolute pig 

sarahs leaving.and i havent seen her!!this is how the convo went.



***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:

u noe ah to b honest i hav no idea wen i can visit u

***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:

i think it’ll havta b nxt yr

***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:

cos by the time i come back from melb..u will b havin exams..

***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:

then afta dat..holiday already!

they say i have no emotion.wrong.irritation is an emotion. says:

!!!

they say i have no emotion.wrong.irritation is an emotion. says:

when are you leaving!?!

they say i have no emotion.wrong.irritation is an emotion. says:

i havent seen you for ages and now your leaving and i dunno when i’ll see you and i wont get to see you until dunno when i dont even get to see you during ur bday and u oso didnt see me when i had MY birthday oh this is so bad i make such a bad friend dont i do i still qualify?!

***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:

wat shit u tokin bout!

***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:

of course u still qualify!

***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:

you are like one of my best guy frens okay!

***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:

anyways..why wont you see me on my bday?!

ok…we can stop there.its bad enough.BOOHOO……*note* this is not sarcastic.